Good

Good is an over used word particularly with education.  It’s mediocre, what does it mean?  I remember when parents or teachers used the word either for behaviour or work.  I was always pleased but only for a short while.  My thoughts often wondered into “what did I do that was good?” and the cynic in me felt that it was just a word to keep me quiet. It’s a bit like the word “sorry”, an easily used word but often without meaning. What did I do to get the label good and what exactly am I saying sorry for or in fact what is the person who is saying sorry to me actually apologising for.

Today is the only day in the year that is labelled “Good” and people use it just as a label.  Good Friday, what does it mean, why is it Good.  Some people will say it means the Eater Eggs will soon be here, some that it’s good because in the UK it’s a Bank Holiday so we get a day off but for me the title is strange.  Good Friday is the day that Jesus was crucified, for some this doesn’t make sense, why was that good?  Things happen for a reason and on this occasion without Jesus dying then the resurrection 3 days later, the most significant day in the Christian calendar would not have taken place. 

Good Friday for me is a period of reflection and preparation.  The “sorries” that were never said during the year, the acknowledgement of my inadequacies and realising the promise that “I am forgiven” to move forward into a new year, a fresh start, a fresh awakening of hopes. 1 Peter 3:18 tells us, “For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit.”

The Break

Holidays are usually considered to be breaks.  I really need this one!  The previous 12 weeks had been full on with a work life balance that didn’t exist.  I was tired and the work wasn’t completed; I was facing rest, relax and then return to the pile of work, how I would have preferred to complete the tasks and walk away for the holidays!

Packing the cases and car was like wading through treacle however we eventually arrived and settled into the ‘very old cottage’.  Our friend arrived late in the afternoon and we spent a pleasant evening at the local dog friendly pub overlooking the valley.  What a night! Olympic diving on the telly when we got back and good company, what more can a person ask for.

The following day we had plans to visit the coast, take the dog for a swim and spend some time with other members of the family.  My sister arrived with my niece and nephew and after coffee we decided to set off, but where to...   I went upstairs to get the map, unfortunately there was no internet in the cottage so we had to resort to the old fashioned method of map books.   As I reached the top of the stairs I tripped rather spectacularly, falling against the wall grazing my face, damaging my glasses and twisting my left leg under my body as I landed on the old floor boards. 

I don’t know what it would feel like to be shot but I can say that the sensation was of an explosion happening just above my left knee.  Pain, unbelievable.  Embarrassment extreme, although I could do anything about it I had now ruined all the plans and I knew that there would be trouble ahead.

Five Mins on REAL

I only have five minutes before the Solar Eclipse so I am really going to need to meet the deadline for this.  I have been considering the topic for about two hours and found this quite hard.  In the UK the Five Min word is issued at 2am and I knew I couldn't wait up until then so any thoughts this morning have been through a fuzzy, "first thing in the morning blur" but her goes.

I realise that I lack the confidence to be real.  This isn't a new experience.  As far as I can remember I have always tried to be someone to please others and often miserably failed.   John Powell's quote "I am afraid to tell you who I am because, if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am, and it’s all that I have." has always been hanging over my head.  Insecurities and feeling that I am close to letting others down have meant that for most of my life I have remained in the shadows except in one aspects of my life.  When I am teaching I feel most relaxed and at home,  here I feel accepted.  Recently in a mentoring session a student told me that "You're ok, coz you're real, you say things as they are and you accept us as we are."  Best compliment ever paid.


The last few years have taught me so much.  I have mixed with people who have "status" and greater "intellectual ability" and at first I was so over awed, wanting to participate but so frightened that I would say the wrong thing, and often I did, that I froze and sat as far away as I could and still remain within the group.  I've realised that I do have something to offer even if my only claim to fame is that a student thought that I was OK.  I'm learning to be more emotionally open, and understand how people adopt roles and play psychological games to protect their inner selves.  I'm not the only one and whatever status we might have we all need the courage to be our real selves, to develop and begin to grow.

Five Mins on RED

A little boy, sits on his own in the sitting room.  His eyes are shut and he is lost in a world of his own.  His looks small and fragile but his face tells a different story.  His blond hair cut in a bob, his red football scarf wrapped round his neck and his feet sticking out over the seat. The record player is sending out the chants from the Kop.
"Wouldn't it be great!" he said, his eyes still shut.
"What would be great?", I said,
"If I was Kevin Keegan and I was walking on to the pitch right now. Listen to the Kop, my heart is pounding and I just can't imagine what being there would be like."
I left him in the world of his own to savour the moment. He was seven years old and Liverpool were his team.  He would watch them on Match of the Day, lying out quietly behind one of the chairs so that no one was aware that he was still up.  I remember my dad having to pick him up and carry him to bed every Saturday, often before the programme had finished but he would have been asleep for quite a time.

Forty three years later he is still a red supporter, his heart still pounds when his team plays.  Hopes are invested in the team, ambition and statements like "This will be the season" are regularly made and the day he listened to the Kop album often referred to.  Family memories are made of things like this.